The Pacifist Fights

I am living a lonely life in a chaotic city called Manila. It's been half a year that I have been suffering from something I have failed to do, to fight for. I'm in my seventeenth year of exploring the ocean I consider life, big and wild. I'm in the mid part of something I just can't still figure out completely.

Today I woke up thinking this is another ordinary event of my life, when I have to get up on bed, bring my body to school, ride the Light Rail Transit and study BS Pharmacy here in AdU. This life happens so swift that I even forget I'm all grown up, matured, and when I graduate as soon as 2016, I'll make a living and settle. I know this is so ridiculous to think about. But as my professor in Socio-Anthropology said, "THE NEXT TIME YOU REALIZE YOU'RE HERE IS THE END OF THE SEMESTER" and, "Life happens so fast that next time you realize something is when you're dying." something like that. Agree?

No one can escape from facing the future, but I can't blame myself if I look back and think gladly how simple my life was before, yet HAPPY. I remember I used not to be cool in elem  years,  just a normal formal lousy kid who’s got no hundred percent probability to succeed in the next two decades.

 Then eventually when I step through the bigger world of high school, my life as a teenage now has drastically bulked up. I had more friends, but not a circle of them, just...a, TRUE of them. I experienced heartaches, failures, joyful days and fearless challenges. The world's adversities has tested my strength, and today, it still does.  Up 'til now, I climb like I can make it, and creep like I have nothing else to lose. (er!) 

I became a leader, writer and honor student a few years later. And though I was like this in elementary, trust me, high school is so.. not good.. not bad..different. It's way too different. I think I had so much of what HS  is all about. I made fights, (but trust me, I was never a warfreak, okay?) I committed mistakes, misunderstood, and said things I regret for saying. I have laughed, loved and learned just like almost everybody else did. I entered a relationship as well.  I graduated soon enough and have undergone the most chaotic part of my life (so far) - summer before college.

I thought last summer would give me a hot relaxing season, but instead, cooled me down and set me frozen. Honestly, there were times when all I can do is cry, with no one around, by the thought of starting my life again, like back to zero. A transformation of being the Wally I used to be to a new innocent Wally now, where he has to work things out of his own way. You know it's hard missing people, but it's even harder to think you're all alone in this complicated world of college life, where no one ever knows you yet.

As the new era starts, I have to work harder to study and do my responsibilities at the same time.  According to my professor that I admire teaching, "Pharma 'yan eh, pinili mo 'yan, panindigan mo."  So this will be my temporary condition for three more birthdays. Though I find it sad, I have to make it, to break a leg. This is my instant long-term dream, and I'm living it now.

In a deep wide ocean, I am one of the aspiring waves that continues to struggle, climbing up then creeping down. 

PS. Natapos ang first sem ng first year na hindi nila nakilala ang tunay na ako.9

Having no mistake will not make you try again.

Your downfall doesn't mean you have to give up, it is made to make you stronger the next time you face life's uncertainties.

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